Volume 7 | Issue 5 | March 4, 2011

A NOTE FROM CHRISTINA:

I'm down in warm Los Angeles, California this week. It's such a treat after the snow dump we had in Victoria. What can I say ... I'm a bad Canadian – living in San Francisco all those years ruined me for living in colder weather again. I LOVE getting away during the blah wintertime to somewhere sunnier!

It's a productive trip. I'm attending another Allison Armstrong relationship workshop tomorrow (wrote about my last one here). And meeting with some colleagues on potential joint ventures. One of whom is relationship coach Jonathon Aslay - we had a great lunch yesterday in pretty Marina del Ray ... hatching plans to combine our expertise to assist the over 40 demographic with dating and relationship.

Ali Rodriguez
Having Lunch in Marina Del Ray with Relationship Coach Jonathon Aslay
Discussing an Upcoming Joint Venture

Both Jonathon and I fall into this niche as do many of my SHIFT-IT clients. I want to create a program to address not only the outer tasks of how/where to meet that special someone, how to properly use the internet, the "do and do not's" of the different dating stages ... but also address the inner work that is necessary too for a successful experience (completing unfinished business from past relationships, resolving mixed beliefs about what is possible (and possible for you!), and becoming TRULY ready for what you want). So if this topic is of interest, watch this e-Zine for future related announcements as Jonathon and I combine our forces!

A key ingredient in ANY relationship (be it in business, family or love) is healthy self-esteem ... for everyone involved. This issue's article is about the two types of unhealthy self-esteem that can wreck havoc with human connecting – SHAME and GRANDIOSITY and how to bring yourself back into balance.

Hope you enjoy,

Christina Merkley,
The SHIFT-IT Coach

IN YOUR WORDS

SHIFT-IT CENTRAL® IS MY WEEKLY ROCK OF GIBRALTAR – I NEVER MISS IT!

Ali Rodriguez
Biz Coach & Passionista

"My dream is to move to the South of Spain … and since identifying that is where I want to be the Rock of Gibraltar (Hercules myth) has turned into a personal symbol for me ... both literally and figuratively. Since joining SHIFT-IT Central I've manifested two trips to Spain, tours with realtors and helpful Spaniards turning into paying clients from the Euro Zone.

What I love about Christina is her compassionate leadership - she's a professional, not a 'mommy'. Her Law of Attraction focus is practical, focused on personal responsibility and maturity. The community on the calls is so supportive, engaging and smart. I only miss it when I'm swaying in Spain!"

Ali Rodriguez
Biz Coach & Passionista
www.alirodriguez.com

CHRISTINA'S CURRICULUM: UPCOMING EVENTS

GRAPHIC COACH CERTIFICATION®
April 5 - June 7, 2011 (10 webinars plus 25 client hours by Dec. 31, 2011)

Are you a coach, counselor, therapist or other helping professional? Do you have a creative and/or spiritual bend? The deadline for the 2011 Certified Graphic Coach® cohort is fast approaching. Diversify your skills, enhance your client volumes, and rocket boost your joy of your work. Plus network with an amazing international community of skilled professionals dedicated to individual and societal change! Includes advanced graphic coaching techniques, use of my signature SHIFT-IT System® (17 visual maps), plus instruction in the 'template-izing' of your own intellectual property. The application deadline is fast approaching. Two pre-requisites required. Apply ASAP To Join April's Cohort

The FUNDAMENTALS OF INTERACTIVE-GRAPHICS®
Public Workshop. May 19-21, 2011, Victoria, British Columbia, Canada

Learn "Interactive-Graphics" to enhance your consulting, facilitation, training or coaching work with groups or individuals. Hands-on, direct mentoring with recognized female teacher in this lucrative niche. This professional skills training equips you with the base skills to do Custom Chart Work, Graphic Recording, Graphic Facilitation and Graphic Coaching --- the four main applications of working visually to reduce conflict, misunderstandings and confusion and to enhance strategic thinking, decision-making and performance. FYI: all artistic levels welcome, you DO NOT need to be an artist to effectively employ this client-pleasing method.
Full Details and Online Registration ***Early Bird Until March 21, Only 4 Spots Left!

SHIFT-IT CENTRAL®
Mondays, 5pm Pacific (drop-in coaching ... join the weekly community today!)

Join the growing SHIFT-IT Community! Christina's private coaching schedule is full with Accelerator and VIP clients, however she's accessible for others who want to make their SHIFTs too. This weekly tele-program offers very affordable drop-in coaching in a community atmosphere. Draw your vision, erase your resistance and get into aligned action! Includes full audio library (downloadable mp3s and forum when you can't join us live). Join Us Here

FEATURED ARTICLE:

WHAT'S YOUR DEFAULT: SHAME OR GRANDIOSITY?

(Now Recorded!) Listen Rather Than Read! Click Here

In my role as The SHIFT-IT Coach I have the honor of observing many different types of people up close in the sanctity of our coaching alliance. My clients hire me because they want a SHIFT ... usually in the area of 'right livelihood' ... either creating a solo professional practice of some sort or a related small-medium size business, or enhancing an already existing one (taking it to the next level). I also assist on life issues, like resolving family conflicts, relationship dilemmas and occasionally body, fitness and health concerns --- as these more personal aspects are often connected to the business or lifestyle shift they desire.

As a Law of Attraction practitioner, I am most interested in a person's underlying energy ... as changing that is where the SHIFT lies. Usually my client has been thinking and feeling in habitual ways that don't serve them any longer (may have at some point) and it's my job to literally draw that out and assist them in thinking and feeling something different in its place ... so they can get the different results they now want.

The Grandiose Entrepreneur:
Entrepreneurs (or wannabe entrepreneurs) are an interesting breed. They can either be the toughest people or the most vulnerable ... and sometimes both! The true entrepreneurs (the one's who have already successfully manifested to some level) have usually resolved some or most of their issues about success, authenticity, receiving, having, being wealthy, being strong, etc. (often back in their hard scrabble childhoods).

For them, their desired business expansion is a matter of degree. The task is to help them to acclimatize, and comfortably stretch to make a new level of manifestation and accomplishment feel normal and natural. They intuitively understand that process, having already experienced success, so it's not that hard to help them manifest their next level. A bit of visioning and next order planning usually does the trick (unless we bump up against some unconscious upper limits trouble – sanctions about how success or wealthy they are 'allowed' to be, erroneous beliefs about their market or industry, or how skilled or organized they or their teams are to handle greater complexity).

However, while business and abundance is relatively easy for them, many successful entrepreneurs (both male and female) have challenges in their personal lives. The aptitudes and attitudes that business rewards them for do not transfer well into their personal lives. Often they are grandiose – believing very strongly in themselves to the point of feeling they are 'better than'. Our coaching work is focused on helping them "come down" and cultivate trust, mutuality, connection and equality so the people around them aren't in such pain. Help them properly and respectfully connect with other people especially their loved ones, close partners, collaborators and employees.

The Shame-Based Entrepreneur:
The other side of the self-esteem spectrum occurs in newer or wannabe entrepreneurs who haven't yet resolved their first level of success, authenticity, receiving and abundance issues. These clients are either just new to the entrepreneurial game, or haven't done well at it (or as well as they think they should have), or haven't gotten out of the gate yet (i.e. stay in an unhappy employment position beyond the time to leave or allow another person to fully support them financially beyond a reasonable transition time).

The coaching work with these clients is focused around helping them 'come up' so they find their strength, power, ability, self-esteem and parity with others. Just like the grandiose entrepreneurs, the shame-based entrepreneur's struggles may originate all the way back in childhood – but unlike their more successful counterparts they did not find their core strength and innate ability to look after themselves and therefore are still working on it in adulthood.

Coaching work at this stage centers on visioning, planning and often teaching/educating about business basics. Wannabe or new entrepreneurs often have inspiration and ideas about what they want to do but just haven't done their due diligence on researching their ideas, creating biz plans and learning about natural steps and stages of what they want to do. Once they galvanize their good idea, get appropriate education, and take practical action their confidence increases and they are off and running.

If the client's idea is not a good one and won't support them (or anybody!) or is premature, then the coaching work is around switching gears to another inspiration or creating the conditions to foster the needed development time. If the latter, it is imperative that they foster a GOOD AND STABLE ATTITUDE and continue to TAKE ACTION throughout their incubation process. Getting a solo practice or business off the ground takes time, resources and lots of emotional maturity with realistic expectations. Some clients are too quick to throw in the towel or allow their vulnerable emotions (connected to leftover childhood and maturity issues) to take them down. (FYI, see the last two issues on Orphan Rescue).

Which Do You Do?
FYI, it is not unusual on the entrepreneurial path to switch back and forth between low self-esteem and grandiosity ... especially if you are a person who bases your worth upon outside conditions rather than a stable and balanced sense of self.

Equipped with the understanding of grandiosity and shame that I have quickly outlined in this article ... where do you think/feel you spend the majority of your time? I invite you to watch yourself the next while and catch yourself when you are 'one up' or 'one down'. And, pull yourself either down in equality with others (if you are grandiose) or up in equality with others (if you are shame-based).

Recommended Resource:
A wonderful resource for learning more about grandiosity and shame and how it plays out within individuals and between couples, families, business colleagues and the like is the relational work of therapist Terry Real. I highly recommend his books/CDs and attending his online and in-person workshops. In closing, here are a few affirmations that Terry recommends for bringing yourself into balance:

"Each person has inherent worth. No one is less than. No one is more than."

"I am enough, and I matter despite my human flaws and imperfections".

Or, you can be more specific:

"I am enough, and I matter despite losing my temper with my child".

"I am enough, and I matter despite getting poor reviews on my last presentation".

(adapt to your particular situation).

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WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEB SITE?
You can, as long as you include this blurb and a functional link to my site: Christina Merkley, "The SHIFT-IT Coach" and creator of the SHIFT-IT System®, is a Visioning and Strategic Planning Expert specializing in Visual Thinking and Law of Attraction techniques. Based in charming Victoria, British Columbia, Canada, she works deeply with individuals, partners and conscious businesses to define and manifest what they truly want. And, trains other helping professionals in her innovative ways of working. For more information visit: www.shift-it-coach.com

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Ready for your SHIFT? There is a HUGE TRANSITION going on in the world today both at a spiritual and physical level. Many people are feeling the call to ascend to a crisper, cleaner and more soul satisfying life - are you one of them? Enlist me as your personal transition aid. Define your vision, bust through your interfering resistance and start taking action. Pioneering Graphic Coaching and Law of Attraction methods.

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ABOUT CHRISTINA MERKLEY:

Christina Merkley
The SHIFT-IT Coach &
Interactive-Graphics Mentor

Christina Merkley is The SHIFT-IT Coach. Creator of the SHIFT-IT System®, she guides individuals, partners and conscious companies in defining and getting what they really, really want.

A teacher of Law of Attraction, she is also an expert in visual meeting techniques, strategic planning and visioning: having worked for such notable companies as BBC, Readers Digest Funds, eBay and Stanford University. After a move from San Francisco, she now lives in charming Victoria, British Columbia, Canada - where she maintains a vibrant coaching, facilitation and training practice.

Full Bio