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I've been doing a lot of visioning work lately --- with corporate graphic facilitation clients, with drop-in coaching clients on the Monday night
SHIFT-IT
Central calls, and with applicants to my new Biz
and Life Accelerator.
During some of these experiences I have been reminded of a useful visioning
and Law of Attraction rule --- go as specific as it still feels good. In
this article I'm going to explain what that means and give examples of
how you can get this rule working for you.
When Being Specific Is Good:
Being specific in terms of your visioning work can helpful and good in
some circumstances. People are often advised in visioning and strategic
planning forums to be as specific as possible (quote specific dollar
amounts, name geographic locations, put a 'by when' date that something
is to happen by, etc.). And, in some cases specificity is the totally
right way to go. These cases are when people are ready to go very specific
and in doing so it makes them FEEL GOOD. They know what they want,
they believe it is possible for them and they have very little in the
way of resistance standing between them and their desired outcome.
The things they have outlined don't feel like a big deal, in fact,
they just feel like the next logical step.
When Being General Is Better:
However, not all individuals or groups are ready to go specific and when
they are guided to do so, they begin to FEEL REALLY BAD instead of
good. Putting specifics around their desire makes them uncomfortable.
They aren't ready to be so specific. They have big doubts about whether
the specific is the right way to go, can be accomplished in the date
set out (if at all), and might even be uncertain in their right or
ability to ask for it or want it. In these kinds of cases it's best
to back off on the specificity and go more general. The resistance
is just too great and to continue to engage the resistance in such
a direct way is folly ... as INTERNAL ENERGY & FEELING is everything
when it comes to successful manifestation.
Some Examples:
So, what do I mean by specific and general? Let me give you a few examples
from my coaching and consulting practice.
Example 1:
A new coaching client is in the midst of a huge transition. Her 20+
year marriage is dissolving, she has quit her job (which she's done
for almost as long) and wants to relocate to a new city. She thinks
she knows the city that she wants to relocate to – however when she
attempts to so some visualization work with herself in those surroundings
she finds it slightly uncomfortable ... like she's forcing it to fit.
Instead of encouraging her to force something that doesn't feel right
yet, I suggest that she focus instead on the qualities or essence of
her desired location in general, rather than a specific city or area.
Give up trying to force something that isn't ripe yet and instead let
Law of Attraction do the sorting.
Comfortable, clean, beautiful, fresh, cozy, friendly and easily accessible
(but not too accessible) to extended family are the general attributes
that she comes up with. Her homework is to focus on these general qualities
and feel herself having them rather than trying to force a specific name
of a city. Through the Law of Attraction the specific city will eventually
emerge and come into focus.
Example 2:
Another example where we see the problem of specificity rearing its uncomfortable
head is in the area of relationships. One of my clients was in a relationship
with a dashing, handsome and very busy man until he called an end to
it due to his hectic schedule. She's very attracted to him but is confused
about what to do with her personal visioning. She'd like to envision
a future with him but does not feel fully confident on the outcome
or if it's even appropriate to do visioning on someone who doesn't
seem to be that into her. Should she focus on him or on someone else?
This is another case where it's best to be general rather than specific.
While she likes this particular man she encounters a lot of her own resistance
and disbelief when she attempts to do visioning on a relationship with
him. Instead I coach her to not worry about the particular name or form
that love comes in, but to rather focus on the general qualities and
attributes she desires and feel herself being in a mutual, two-way relationship
with them (the energy of the type of relationship she desires rather
than on a specific person).
As she focuses on those qualities and elicits that energy in her system,
then Law of Attraction will attract a man who emits those same particulars
(like attracts like) ... either in a changed situation in the attitude
or circumstances of the man she was dating or through the form of another
man who more naturally vibrates the essence of what she desires. Either
way by focusing on the generalities of what she desires (rather than
being wedded to the specifics having to come through a specific human
form) she gets the essence of what she desires.
Example 3:
In my new business incubator The
Biz and Life Accelerator, applicants
have been telling me their desires in terms of accelerating their
solo practices or entrepreneurial ventures. I have set this program
in a very specific revenue range (50-300K). For some, these specific
number elicits very little or no resistance as they are already comfortably
earning at that level or are very attracted to be doing so – so they
decisively apply to be in the program. For others, the specific numbers
elicit varying degrees of reactions.
While I am not letting them off the hook in terms of the revenue expectations
for being in the program ... (it can be healthy sometimes to be forced
into a relationship with a number until your resistance to it softens)
I do soothe people by asking them to focus instead of how they want to
FEEL about their business and revenues. Typical answers: relief, happy,
secure, powerful, free, strong, satisfied, proud, empowered, on point,
helping, expressing, flowing, engaging, connecting, serving, etc.
The point being that it's not about the specific numbers per se, it's
really about the feeling state that the new level of business and revenues
creates in their life – what it provides for them and the people they
do business with – the numbers are just a tangible representation of
those feelings.
In Closing:
I hope this article and the examples I have given help you see that if
you have a lot (or even some) resistance on something ... you might be
focusing at too specific or granular a level and that by moving your
focus up to a more general feeling (rather than form) you can bypass
some if not all of that problematic resistance. The trick with visioning
is to FEEL GOOD when you do so! If you aren't feeling good, then you
need to adapt or tweak your vision to do so (or, and this is a big or
... you need to soften, soothe and reduce your resistance in other ways
... which I'll continue to write about here in The SHIFT-IT e-Zine).
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©2010 Christina L. Merkley
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Christina Merkley, "The SHIFT-IT Coach" and creator of the SHIFT-IT System®, is a Visioning and Strategic Planning Expert specializing in Visual Thinking and Law of Attraction techniques. Based in charming Victoria, British Columbia, Canada, she works deeply with individuals, partners and conscious businesses to define and manifest what they truly want. And, trains other helping professionals in her innovative ways of working. For more information visit: www.shift-it-coach.com |